Today’s blog is written by my beloved mentor, Amy Harris. Amy was one of the first women I was drawn to when my family moved back to Birmingham two years ago, and I am so thankful for how she has poured into my life. I pray her testimony of daily obedience and God’s faithfulness, even in brokenness, would encourage you as it has me.
“Believe and speak.” Perhaps you know that Biblical command, too. Yet fifteen years ago, when the Lord told me those were my instructions of what do with a rare vocal disorder, I have to say, I was a bit skeptical. As I pondered this, though, it made sense. God tends to use the weak to be strong, he makes beauty from ashes, and he can use the silent to speak. I still have a vocal disorder, but I have years and years of faith-building experience attempting to learn to speak up in love even when it’s not what I want to do. It is what he called me to do, and I am so thankful.
On January 28, 2020, I found myself once again in a doctor’s office hearing how “unique” I was. I have another “rare” condition but with my eyes. The COVID-19 quarantine hit one week short of me having my second eye surgery which is still “postponed.” In the interim, I can see, but I can’t read well.
Quarantine also found me scared and in need of comfort and reassurance. I so needed to be in God’s Word. I needed to read the Psalms. I needed to know his closeness during this uncertain time. I needed the community with other women in Bible study. I knew I would have lots of time on my hands for my mind to race, so I needed to fill it with something life-giving. While I would love to spend good quality time reading God’s Word during the quarantine, that was just not possible due to my eye condition.
Rather than let myself dwell on what I couldn’t do, I decided to figure out a way to do what I needed to do. Honestly, it really didn’t even phase me; I just thought of a different way to do what I knew would be God’s will—to hold tight to His Word. I signed up for Bible study and purchased the Bible study eBook so I could blow the font up really big. When I came to passages in the study, I would listen to them on my Bible phone app. I found that I would even listen to more than what was required. I signed up for Audible, and I’ve listened to five books so far (and have three more waiting in my library). I listened to the beautiful Psalms, and I have even memorized my first complete Psalm, Psalm 103!
I realized that what God taught me in the brokenness of losing my voice all those years ago, works in the loss of my ability to see the way I would like to or the ability to live life as normal. “Believe me” is God’s repeated lesson! I believed that if God was allowing this, he would also make a way through it and use it. Through my brokenness God built faith in me. He asked me to believe. He showed his faithfulness. He taught me along the way through success and failure. When faced with the challenges today, I had these building blocks to stand on! My faith has grown, and now he is taking it a step further and is enhancing my listening skills. God has built my faith through the brokenness. Isn’t that just like Him! Praise the Lord, oh my soul!