Spiritual Growth

Through Smudged Windows

My two-year-old daughter presses her open lips to the pane of glass then pulls back to yell, “Open! Open!” She matches her five little fingers up to the five little fingers on the other side. The faces of both toddler girls are confused as to why they can’t hold hands, share toys, or even go to the playground together. I look up at the woman’s face that’s staring at me from the other side of the glass. We, too, wonder why we can’t do the things that we want—that we should do, under other circumstances. I want to snuggle her newborn baby and hug her as she shares the woes of postpartum life. She wants to touch my growing belly and talk with me about plans for a baby shower. We want to sit next to each other on a park bench watching our daughters play together and dream of our baby boys doing the same one day.

Instead, a window keeps our two families apart, whose hearts long to be together. We shout encouragements through the double-paned glass and talk about what we will do one day when we can be within six feet of each other again. We talk about the parks we want to visit and plan the parties we want to throw. Our souls feel that there is something not right about this separateness, and we crave for the day that we are joined together again.

Until then, we have toddler tea parties and double dates via Zoom. I drop off coffee; she sends sweet notes. We celebrate Mother’s Day brunch three miles apart, but in our hearts, we know that we are together.

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Spiritual Growth

3 Things I’ve learned in a Year of Transition

Today is the one-year anniversary of moving into our home in Birmingham. Now, that doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but this past year has been a huge transition. In July 2018, within a two-week span, 1) we moved into our first home (in a new city!), 2) I quit my full-time job to stay home with our daughter, 3) my husband graduated from his graduate program, and 4) and my husband started his first full-time job. Add a four-month old to the mix for a bit more craziness!

You might think from that story that I love change—you would be wrong. I struggle with change. I have always had a hard time moving on from one season of life to another. My false hope that I can control a situation is completely shattered in times of transition. However, it is when any semblance of self-sufficiency is gone that God has taught me the most. Going off to college, getting married, starting my first job after graduate school—every time I “lost” the control I never really had, God revealed something about myself and about him.

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